Relationship^2

A Structural tool that makes you - sometimes painfully - aware of your position in your relationship with something. You could also call it the meta relationship. Ben and I call it relationship squared.

Example:

Oftentimes, you have an opinion about your home town. This is your relationship with your home town. I'll use my own hometown Amsterdam as an example.

In my case, I can ask: what do I think about Amsterdam?

The answer might be: busy, fun, pretentious, fulfilling, superficial, and successful.

Great! That tells me a lot. But I have more to extract.

Next to my opinion of Amsterdam, I also have a relationship with my opinion of Amsterdam. This is my relationship^2 with Amsterdam.

I miss my own position in my opinion. What do I think of my opinion of Amsterdam? What do I want to do with it?

I don't have direct control over my opinion of my home town, Amsterdam. I do have control over my relationship with the relationship I developed over time. I can move away, I can see my own faults, and I can change my relationship with my opinion of my hometown.

It won't change Amsterdam, but I will be able to change my relationship with Amsterdam by looking at how I feel about how I feel.

I apply this to my own relationship, to exercise, work, and sleep. You name it. Whenever I see a change in my behavior, I now look at my relationship^2.